Thinking about it now it may even have been born out of fear. I guess Yoda was right!

Powerful point you bring out here. I learned the approach you highlight above through my karate, but also through marriage and having kids.

In long term relationships, the harder we work at knowing ourselves and being comfy and secure in our own skins, the less chance there is of our egos clashing because we’re scared when the blending part of a marriage makes us feel we’re being subsumed.

I teach my kids to walk away if they can, choose their battles if they can’t and choose which hero to emulate if they engage. (Ghandi’s not always the safest option.) They both do karate but they’ve never, thank God, had to use it to defend themselves. I’m hoping the confidence they’ve gained from it will help them give off a neutral, calm energy. Trying to tell them not to clash at their age is a bit counter productive; they’re t(w)eenagers, so they have to batter their wings against some kind of cocoon to strengthen their butterfly wings. Usually me