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Don’t Be Taken Advantage Of – 5 Ways to Retake Control of Your Life

by Marc on May 20, 2009
in Health and Relaxation, Life

3 Comments

say-noIn the continuing series looking at 5 Ways to Retake Control of Your Life we will take a look at how you can gain confidence by saying no. Previously in this series we looked at Living in the Now. Take a look also at the overview post 5 Ways to Retake Control of Your Life to see how the pieces of the puzzle fit together.

This is a very personal one for me as I know all too well that I am at times too soft for my own good, however the simple truth of the matter is:

People don’t take advantage of you, you allow yourself to be taken advantage of.

I’m not saying you should refuse to help people but rather learn to respect your own limits. Once you’ve done this you will find it much easier to say “No.” to others – in a polite and constructive way of course!

This is not an easy thing to do, I know. It takes some courage to turn someone down especially if that person is used to your compliance.

The ability to say no is a great confidence booster and can be a very quick way to take back control of your life. If handled correctly you will even find yourself commanding more respect from those around you.

Tips for Saying No

  • Don’t just say no, empathise. “I understand what you are saying but…”, “I appreciate the thought…”, “Thanks for the invite, unfortunately…”
  • Say it with confidence but
  • Be respectful,
  • Be honest and
  • Remain calm. Even if the person doing the asking isn’t.

Further Reading

Eric -  who is a great self-motivator – discussed the very same thing in his excellent post Is People Pleasing Keeping You From Pleasing People. It’s a long post but if, like me this is a tough issue for you it is well worth a read.

Related posts:

  1. 5 Ways to Take Control of Your Life In our everyday hectic lifestyles it can be easy to...
  2. Live In the Now – 5 Ways to Take Control of Your Life This is the 2nd post in a series looking at...

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3 Responses to “Don’t Be Taken Advantage Of – 5 Ways to Retake Control of Your Life”
  1. janice says:
    May 20, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Lovely post, Marc. Succinctly expressed and very fresh. I’ve found age helps. As I’m becoming more and more aware of how precious my time is, and of how the kids are getting older and empty nest years aren’t that far off, it’s becoming easier to say no. I don’t want to waste a minute of the time I could be spending with them. That’s why I’m struggling with blogging; I can see lots of danger signs of being enticed away from my real life in the present. (By the way, I hope you have kids some day. You’d make a great dad.)

    janice’s last blog post..Poetry, Wedding Vows and Gift Ideas for Loved Ones

  2. Marc says:
    May 20, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    Thanks Janice, that last comment means a lot to me. :)

  3. Eric Hamm | Motivate Thyself says:
    May 21, 2009 at 12:40 am

    Hey Marc, excellent points! Saying no with confidence is SO important. If we show ANY signs of questioning ourselves, the asker will only be more enticed to try and talk you into it. Once they see you’re clear in your decision to decline their request, they usually quickly back off.

    But adding to that by doing so with empathy is what makes this point a really good one.

    Thanks for the link to my post. :-) Eric

    Eric Hamm | Motivate Thyself’s last blog post..6 Ways To Keep Simple From Getting Complex

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